


They Searched For Blue

by PuppiesRainbowsSadism



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, ace!cas, ace!sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2502782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppiesRainbowsSadism/pseuds/PuppiesRainbowsSadism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This year, Lawrence Way High’s junior prom was going to be held at the Milton Hotel downtown, just like it was every year. The difference was that, this year, Cas was finally able to go. He’d been thinking about it all year. What to wear, how to get there, if he should ask anyone and how . . .</p>
<p>"But not whom. Cas looked across the boys’ locker room to where Sam Winchester was slipping on a clean shirt, trying not to stare. He knew he was going to ask Sam to prom, provided he ever gathered the courage."</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Searched For Blue

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt fill for Ace SPN Week that I'm only just now getting to: "Sastiel where they have gym together, and Cas is asexual himself, but he was raised in a sexualized world, so chickens out of asking Sam out to the dance because he never has any physical reaction in the changerooms, but it never occurs to him that Sam might just not be sexually attracted to anyone."
> 
> Title from something a little lighter than 17th century English Renaissance poetry. Shel Silverstein. "She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue, their whole life through, then passed right by -- and never knew."

                This year, Lawrence Way High’s junior prom was going to be held at the Milton Hotel downtown, just like it was every year. The difference was that, this year, Cas was finally able to go. He’d been thinking about it all year. What to wear, how to get there, if he should ask anyone and how . . .

                But not whom. Cas looked across the boys’ locker room to where Sam Winchester was slipping on a clean shirt, trying not to stare. He knew he was going to ask Sam to prom, provided he ever gathered the courage. Just when he thought he could do this, he could ask, he could walk across the locker room and stop Sam before he left and ask him to prom – he overheard some of his classmates laughing about how they had reserved a room at the hotel for after prom, or how their date deliberately chose a short dress for “easy access.”

                Cas didn’t want any of that. He’d long since come to terms with the fact that sex was not something he was interested in. But Sam was, surely. Because that was normal, expected, even. That’s how prom night was supposed to end. Right?

                Just the thought put Cas off, and he watched Sam leave knowing he missed his chance. He was sure he could grin and bear it for Sam, might even enjoy it a little. But that’s not something he wanted to have to do, no matter how much he liked Sam. He didn’t want to take that chance. At the very least, they should discuss the matter in length before anything happened or didn’t happen, and prom night was not the time to do that.

                Spring came too quickly. Before Cas knew it, it was April. They had gym outside, which was a blessing in and of itself, as far as admiring Sam from afar went, but it also meant he was running out of time. To ask or not to ask? As far as he knew (which was pretty far, considering a few of his siblings had taken it upon themselves to help out), Sam was still going alone, didn’t have a date yet. Yet. It was a mystery and a miracle at once; how did the sweetest, smartest, most handsome guy at school didn’t have a date? Maybe he was planning on going alone, in which case, Cas shouldn’t infringe on that.

                “So, little bro,” Gabriel teased on Monday – when prom was on Saturday. “What’s gonna hurt worse: Seeing Sam alone or seeing him with another guy? Or, God forbid, a girl?”

                Anna and Gadreel were much more gentle in their approach, urging Castiel to ask whenever an opportunity presented itself, Gadreel once even offering to act as a middle man of sorts.

                But he’d already had his fair share of opportunities, and he passed each one up. Before he knew it, he was adjusting his bowtie in a full-length mirror, wondering why the hell he was even bothering going, besides that no one should skip an experience like junior prom. Still, he accepted the keys Gabriel tossed him with a wink and showed up at the motel visibly forlorn. But if anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything, as he clung to the far wall most of the night. He kept an eye out for Sam, but their class was large and the room dark, and even if he found him, what would he do?

                Just as he was considering leaving, having had his fill of a miserable prom experience, someone beside him cleared his throat, and even over the booming music, it made Castiel jump. He looked to his left and saw Sam leaning against the wall beside him, smiling shyly. Immediately, Cas felt his face grow hot. Had Sam been seeking him out? What did that implicate? Or was he just waiting for his date to get back with drinks or something? Did he just so happen to stumble across Castiel on his way to the buffet table?

                And most importantly, what the hell was he supposed to do now that he was face-to-face with Sam Winchester?

                “Hey, Cas,” Sam said none too softly. Still, Castiel had to strain to hear him. “Are you alone too?”

                Well, that answered that question, but Cas couldn’t manage words. He was too busy admiring how Sam’s vest looked perfectly awkward on him (a cummerbund would have been better), but his tie really brought out the green in his eyes, even in the dim lighting. Castiel managed a nod.

                Sam smiled again, a little more confidently but still shuffling his feet nervously. Cas stopped breathing when Sam’s dimples made an appearance.

                “Good,” Sam said. “I mean, not good that neither of us got a date. I really can’t imagine how you – I mean, unless you wanted to come alone. Ah. At least we’re alone together, yeah?”

                “Yeah,” Cas agreed softly, certain that Sam didn’t hear him.

                “Wanna dance?”

                Castiel was fairly sure his brain short circuited. “With you?” he choked out, only to mentally kick himself. What a damn stupid question.

                “No, with Dean,” Sam laughed. “Of course with me.”

                Truthfully, Castiel didn’t want to dance. The songs the deejay had been playing were popular and upbeat and loud, and Cas was an awkward dancer at the best of times.

                But then, like an answered prayer, the song changed. This one was much slower, quieter. Everyone but a few scattered couples left the floor.

                “Cas?” Sam said, getting his attention once again. He was holding one hand out in invitation, his eyebrows raised in question and apprehension alike.

                He didn’t understand. This was a slow song. A love song. Did that mean -- ?

                Cas took Sam’s hand before the chance escaped him, like all his other chances had.

                Sam, smiling wider than Cas thought he had ever seen, led them to the dance floor, and Cas began to panic silently. He didn’t regret his decision in the least. But all he knew were traditional dances. The waltz, tango, a little salsa but Cas never really liked that class. Even then, he only knew how to lead, but he was shorter than Sam. Would he be expected to assume the female part? If that were the case, it would be very difficult doing all the moves backwards. He’d likely make a fool of himself. . . .

                When Sam stopped, so did Castiel’s heart. What now?

                Sam took both of Cas’s hands and placed them on his own shoulders before resting his hands lightly on Cas’s waist, his touch barely there. They didn’t dance so much as sway in a vaguely circular way.

                “Is this okay?” Sam asked nervously.

                Cas linked his hands behind Sam’s neck, stepping just a bit closer. He recognised that he indeed had assumed the typical female role, but that didn’t make this any less perfect. He wondered in the back of his head whether this was a dream. If it was, he never wanted to wake up.

                Castiel nodded, and Sam relaxed a little, actually holding Cas rather than hovering his hands over him. They were so close they were almost touching. Their eyes were locked on the other’s, and truth be told, it was kind of awkward, but Castiel wasn’t willing to look away for the world.

                Now that Cas was looking, he could see the slight blush on Sam’s face, and how his eyes kept twitching like he was warring with himself whether or not to break eye contact.

                But it’s Castiel that breaks it, when Sam’s tongue darts out to lick his lips.

                “Cas?” Sam asks, and Cas looks back up to Sam’s eyes. “Can I kiss you?” When Cas didn’t respond right away, Sam ducked his head and just started babbling. “I mean, I’ve wanted to for a while. Uh, I’ve kind of been watching you – well not watching you because that sounds creepy, but yeah we have gym together and – and – that’s not relevant at all. I don’t know why I said that. But you’re really kind and smart, and maybe a little crude at times but like in an endearing way and – “

                If Cas had to listen to one more conjunction from Sam, he was going to go mad. He used his hands behind Sam’s neck to his advantage, pulling him down to a kissable level, but not actually kissing him. There was a hair’s breadth of space between their lips, but Cas let Sam close the distance and was not disappointed. Sam’s lips were soft against his own, something Castiel had not been expecting. But then again, he hadn’t expected to be kissing Sam at prom. Cas knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth and tangled his fingers in Sam’s hair a little.

                It was awkwardly silent when they parted, still close enough to breathe the same air and looking at each other like the other had hung the moon.

                Then the silence ended; the next song started, something upbeat like before, and suddenly Sam and Cas were crowded by people on all sides. Sam was laughing when Cas pulled him back out of the way, probably more from nerves than anything. Cas understood completely, a little giddy himself.

                “Hey, Cas,” Sam laughed, biting his lip in a way that said he wasn’t completely done being nervous yet. “Um. Do you want to get out of here?”

                It was as if someone had injected ice water into Cas’s veins. Oh no. _Oh no_. God, he wanted to be with Sam, more than anything, but he didn’t want to have sex with him. Even if kissing him had been the best feeling in the world, he just didn’t want that. He just had to pray that Sam took the rejection well.

                “Actually, Sam, I – “

                “Hold on,” Sam interrupted, having to shout over the music. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” He moved for the door, still holding Cas’s hand, and Castiel let himself be pulled away.

                When the door closed behind them, they could still hear the music, but it was significantly quieter than before. Castiel couldn’t tell if it was cold for Springtime Kansas or if it was just him. Either way, he was shivering.

                “Okay, so my brother’s supposed to pick me up at ten, but I know this great place – “

                “I don’t want to have sex with you,” Cas blurted, feeling his face turning red but standing his ground. It probably wasn’t the best way to break it to Sam, but nothing had really been going as planned tonight.

                “What?” Sam asked, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

                “I – I don’t want to ‘get out of here’ with you, so to speak. I don’t . . . I like you, Sam, a lot. But I don’t want to have sex with you.”

                “Oh, God, Cas, I wasn’t asking – I-I didn’t mean . . . That’s not what I meant when I said ‘get out of here.’ I was just going to say that I know this really beautiful place where there’s not so much light pollution and we can see the sky and it’s quiet and private – but – but not for – jeez, Cas, I don’t want that either.”

                Now it was Cas’s turn to be confused. “You . . . you don’t? But, isn’t that what happens after prom?”

                Sam laughed, a noise that seemed to just burst out of him. “It doesn’t have to, Cas. At least, that’s not what I want to happen, especially knowing that you don’t either. You know, I,” Sam licked his lips again, out of apprehension this time. “I was actually really worried you’d want that. And I was totally willing to, if you wanted to, but . . . it’s such a relief, honestly. I really, uh, I don’t like sex. It’s called ‘asexuality,’ I think. I don’t know; I’m just starting to figure this all out.”

                Cas cocked his head to the side. He didn’t know there was a name for what he was. That was actually very reassuring to hear.

                Sam still wasn’t looking at him, but they were still holding hands. Cas covered Sam’s hand with both of his own and squeezed reassuringly, offering a small smile when Sam looked up. “If I haven’t completely ruined everything, I think I’d really like to go to that place you mentioned.”

                Sam’s face split into a huge smile that was surprisingly contagious. He leaned forward as if to kiss Cas again, but seemed to think better of it, pulling back an inch or two. Castiel was having none of that and pulled Sam back by his tie – just the first thing in reach, really, but it was effective.

                “Hey, losers!”

                “Godammit.”

                Both Sam and Cas groaned and rested their foreheads together.

                “What the hell are you doing here, Dean?” Sam called.

                “Well, you weren’t supposed to _know_ I was here, but _this_ asshat ruined that.”

                With a heavy sigh, Castiel looked up and saw Sam’s brother leaning against his car, glaring daggers at Gabriel, who was smiling right back from where he stood by the car Cas drove.

                “Have you been here the whole time?”

                “Maybe,” Dean shot back with a raised eyebrow that challenged Sam to argue with him. “I couldn’t just leave you here without any kind of contact.”

                “He was worried my little brother might break your heart,” Gabriel clarified.

                “And what are _you_ doing here, Gabriel?” Cas asked, levelling a glare at his older brother.

                “We had a bet going. Had to make sure Dean-o here played fair. So, boys, which one of you made the first move?”

                Sam and Cas glanced at each other, sharing a private smile, even if they were irritated.

                “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Sam snapped playfully.

                “Aw, c’mon – “

                “Really, Gabriel,” Cas pitched in, “you know me enough to know I’m not the kind to kiss and tell.” He took Sam’s hand and they walked down the front steps together. “And if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you would step away from the car so I don’t accidentally run you over.”

                “Oh-ho!” Gabriel exclaimed, eyebrows shooting to his hairline. “Alright, little bro, I’ll let you out this time. But I will get an answer from you one way or another. Oh – and you’ll be cleaning any messes you make in the backseat.”

                “Whoa, whoa, hold on a second,” Dean interjected, stepping forward as Cas slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. “Where do you think you’re going, Sammy?”

                “With Cas,” he answered simply, opening the passenger side door. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back by . . . “ he glanced at Cas in question.

                “There’s a sleeping bag in the trunk,” he suggested softly.

                “Well, sometime tomorrow morning,” Sam finished, leaving no room for any arguments from his brother as he settled into the car and closed the door. He’d catch hell for it tomorrow, but with Cas’s hand on the console a blatant invitation, Sam took his hand again and had trouble feeling bad for anything.

                “There’s a cell phone in the back as well,” Cas said once they got on the road.

                Sam just scooted closer and kissed Cas’s cheek, mumbling, “You’re sweet” before giving Cas directions to his secret place under the stars.


End file.
